Americans all across the nation have decided that fighting terrorism is best achieved by buying Bigger Cars and Trucks. Unlike previous generations that chose to tighten their belts and face adversity head-on. Modern America feels that to give up even one small comfort is to accept defeat.
“A link between Terror and Oil? You must be frickin’ nuts..” Says Roy Patterson, Treasurer of a local Tea- Party express chapter. “Why just last week we were told at the meetin’ that those Ā-rabs use goats for all their tradin’. Not Petro=Dollars. Goat skins, Goat cheese, just plain Goats.” Roy moves closer to this reporterand in a gesture that mirrors his conspiratorial tone, speaks out of the side of his mouth. “They’re kinda dumb, you see, If they could figure it out… Hell, they could just Buy America and be done with it.” He begins laughing wildly until over come by a fit of coughing, his point hitting home.
Other ways to fight Terrorism include: buying bumper stickers, T-shirts and magnetic yellow ribbons.