Happy New Year! Colorado Liquor Stores File for Bankruptcy at Record Pace

Coloradans are wearing this strange symbol. What is it? - we don't know
Coloradans are wearing this strange symbol. What is it? – we don’t know

Denver Colorado 1/1/2014- Lines are forming all across the State of Colorado as liquor store owners file bankruptcy papers. This phenomena is doubly inexplicable because all government offices are closed today. Brad Wellington, freelance Economist, said: ” This must be the result of an improving economy, with the rise in optimism, many people must be ‘getting off the sauce’. ”

A large crowd gathered at the Civic Center Mall in Denver were smoking what appeared to be hand-rolled cigarettes. All refused to comment, and even laughed at this reporter. Many seemed to be sucking on liquid filled jars and pots. But the hard fact is: not a single one of them was drinking.  Is this a new rise in puritanism ? A health craze, or just another strange coincidence?

Every where I turned, Everyone I asked either made fun me, or just stared coldly. My only conclusion: People in Colorado are strange.
 -Robert Boberton