Oxford G.B.- renowned economist Dr. Percy Fogbladder recently spoke before the prestigious Oxford College of Integrated Sciences about the Global costs of Modern lifestyles. The Gist: His idea to save the world’s economies and the Planet itself: Stop wearing Clothes!
” The Global Impact of wearing clothes is equal to 13% of Worlwide GDP. This one small thing will save resources, Energy, and Money enough to turn around our Lemming-like drive into the abyss” Dr Fogbladder spoke before a flabbergasted audience outlining his plan for Global salvation. A partial list of his analysis showed these savings:
1) 6,595.3 Billion Liters of water no longer wasted washing clothes.
2) 90,000 TW of power (that’s: terrawatts- each is 1 million kilowatts- what you pay on your bill)
3) nearly 10 million kilos of Carbon released into the atmosphere.
4) a net savings of 168.4 Trillion dollars annually
5) and 21,000 deaths, that are yearly tributed to the Grim Reaper by our strange fascination with clothing.
Dr. Fogbladder further posited that another side benefit would be increased fitness, as people would no longer be able to hide beneath their Mumus and Caftans. “It would be a better, saner and more equal world if we just stopped hiding behind these primitive symbols of status and locality.” We agree. But not, apparently his fellows at Oxford who ended the lecture by tarring and feathering the poor man.
We hope his genius might be appreciated by a more enlightened, future humanity.