Scientists Investigate Mystery in Antartica

One small step for a Man, one giant leap into yet another stinking hole
One small step for a Man, one giant leap into yet another stinking hole

Queen Mary Land Antarctica- Scientists, funded by a coalition of Conservative and Religious groups, investigated a giant opening in the Antarctic ice. Believed to be a portal into the “inner earth” where U.F.O.’s, Angelic Beings, and Sasquatch move from the underworld into ours. Long hypothesized by authors and “biblical” scholars, this hidden land will at once exonerate them, and drive the last nail into the coffin of “rational thought”. 

“It is my deepest hope, that we will prove that inside the earth is another sun and an entire world that walks beneath our feet.” Rhapsodized Expedition lead Lance Peri. ” Literally; walking beneath our feet.  For as we scamper about on the surface of this globe, they live on the outside of the great cavern with their sun hovering above.”  How is this possible you ask? “Beacause of the power and the glory of One who can do all things.”

 Peri, a climate change skeptic by trade, assembled this group from his drinking buddies in Belize. A retired community college science teacher, a mechanic, and several members of the local “Flat Earth Society” , some of whom had never traveled more than 25 miles from their birth places, joined him on this globe-spanning trek. Said one member, Chuck Johnson III, upon their arrival: “Yep, it’s flat here too.”

No hardship, no chore, no fact stood in their way as this group hiked approximately 25 miles overland to reach the glowing precipice. This reporter watching in awe as they boldly rappeled downward, one by one. The brave men carried few supplies, and only spent 1000 feet of rope, so sure were they that gravity would quickly reverse and they would walk freely upside down beneath me. If only they had listened they would not have dropped into the heart of a Dinosaur city. I don’t expect to see them again.    

 -Robert Bobington