ben Carson Releases proof of Chinas’ Middle East Complicity

CarsonCookie
Dr. Ben Carson delivers irrefutable proof that China has joined the war in Syria.

Detroit Michigan–  Dr. Ben Carson, Republican Presidential Candidate stirred up some controversy at the recent Debates by claiming that China, as well as Russia were actively involved in the war is Syria. Pressed by the American Media Ma$hine to put up some evidence, he promised that he would, this weekend. And a man of his words, he has done just that. In a worldwide exclusive, Dr. Carson has come to Scuzzfeed to present absolute proof of Chinese involvement in the Syrian conflict.

We sat down with Mr. Carson for a full- one hour interview, which is transcribed below, in its entirety:

SF: Many people, including the whitehouse press secretary, have questioned, well, your sanity for suggesting something that they consider totally without merit.

DrC: Well, Uh, you know, these people, uh, they like to use their positions to control …  Uh, everything that people hear, know, and think. And they do have to, you know, control what people think. What’s really going on in this world would frighten…. (can I say Crap?)… the Crap out of you; if you knew.

SF: That’s true, but we came here for proof, and I believe you have that today. Proof that world powers have focused on Syria and the only ones left out of the conflict, is us.

DrC: That is true. Uh, you know I have the proof right here with me. People know that I will speak my mind and not censor out, Uh, anything. I will tell the people of this great nation nothing but the God’s actual truth. Because these people, you know, the American people, they can handle the truth…

SF: So how, exactly, did you come by this proof you have now?

DrC: Well, these nice people, these, Uh, Chinamen, contacted me, as I said. These are brave people, you know, people who want to help ensure the survival of not only the great country of America, but also what they, Uh, consider the great country of China. So they brought this to me.
(Ed note: he pulls out a small slip of paper)
 This is proof positive that not only is China IN Syria, right now. But also, Uh, that they continue to act in an inhumane, and totally reprehensible manner, as is their way.
  Except for these nice people, who, as I have said, who came to me.

SF: So, can I see it?

DrC: Of course….

(Ed Note: He handed the paper to me, and after meticulously unfolding it, I read it:)

SF: “Help I’m being held Captive in a Syrian Fortune Cookie Factory”
So, what is this? Is it a fortune cookie fortune?

DrC: That’s what the W A N T you to think it is. They were able to bring that fortune cookie all the way from Syria, Uh, at great peril I might add.

SF: But anyone could have made this? How is this proof of anything?

DrC: Don’t you see how perfect this is?
1) This cookie came from Syria, with an important message that they are being held in, you know, conditions of slavery…
And
2) Who makes fortune cookies? The Chinese.. Who uses chinese slaves to make their unneccessary little conveniences?
Don’t you see? This is air tight.

SF: Well,
You convinced me, what else could it Be? 
Now I’d like to go on to comments you made

DrC: I’m sorry, but we agreed on one hour, and our times up.

SF: Was that really an hour? Wait, woah, it was, Dr Carson…
Dr Carson?

But the time had expired, and Dr. Ben Carson had left, like a shadow, or the wind, off to his next appointment: of which he now has many. Polls are showing him at number One in the Republican Primary Campaign. And now we know why.

So what do you think? Air tight? Well at least it is greater than plausible. China is in Syria, and they must have such a substantial presence that they can bring their own restaurants and customs. So the next question is why? Why would the international intelligence apparatus be lying to us about this?
Ponder that. And remember, you heard it first on Scuzzfeed, in fact, you heard it only on Scuzzfeed.

Hear! Hear!

                                                           -MrScuzz